Lutherans as seen by ourselves (and others!)

• Lutherans believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.
• Lutherans like to sing except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.
• Lutherans believe that pastors will visit them in the hospital even if they don't notify them that they are there
• Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and feel it is their way of suffering for their sins
• Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate
• Lutherans feel that applauding for their children's choir would make them too proud and conceited
• Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while "passing the peace"
• Lutherans drink coffee as if it is the third Sacrament
• Some Lutherans still believe that an ELCIC bride and an LCC groom make for a mixed marriage (or an ELCIC groom and a WELS bride)
• Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall
• Lutherans are willing to pay up to a dollar for a meal at church
• Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think peas in a tuna casserole adds too much color
• Lutherans believe that is is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously

You know you are a Lutheran when:

• You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can
• It is 30c by 10AM and you still have coffee after the service
• When you watch a "Star Wars" movie, and when they say "May the force be with you", you respond "and also with you"
• It takes at least 10 minutes to say "good-bye"

Thanks to Garrison Keilor